Inner child work allows you develop a relationship with your inner child so you can begin to break the cycle of negative programming and childhood trauma. In this article, we will learn who the inner child is, what role she plays in our development and adult life, and how to heal from childhood trauma.

So many of us have experienced trauma in our childhoods. Even if you think back and say to yourself, no, my childhood was great, my parents were loving and we had everything we needed, you still had little traumas. Trauma for a child could be as simple as having emotionally unavailable parents or not having your feelings validated when you were upset.

Inner child work is a valuable spiritual tool that anyone on a self realizing path will benefit from this work.

Who is the inner child

The inner child is the spirit or essence of ourselves as children. It is the part of ourselves that is the most innocent, joyful, pure, and creative. This essence carries these childlike qualities but they also carry all of our traumas and programming from childhood.

As a child, we all receive programming, be it for our good or not. A lot of it is unintentionally passed onto us by our parents. It can be something like seeing your mom glaring at herself, frustrated in the mirror asking “do I look fat?” Or it can be something that is more subtle and felt, not heard. Like how I learned to be quiet and not get in the way.

This programming will run for as long as we are unaware of it. My programming of staying small, quiet and accommodating kept me out of trouble and away from disappointment. It still runs through me and shows up in the form of me trying to do everything for everyone else and ignoring my own needs. It has taken LOTS of effort on my part to wipe this program from my system.

Through deep inner work (shadow work, inner child work, meditation, reiki, shamanic journeying and tapping) and DEEP self care, I have lessened its grip on my life, but I still have to work on it almost daily.

We also experience traumas as children. This can run the gamut from having your favorite toy thrown away to being bullied to experiencing molestation.

Why do inner child work

Connecting with your inner child will help you process trauma from your childhood. When we deny and ignore the child’s voice, we end up with heavy baggage and unresolved issues. These issues can manifest as anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, mental illness, addiction and illness, just to name a few.

When you do inner child work, you go to the the root of your pain. You can address core beliefs that are no longer serving you and reprogram your mind.

How to do inner child work

1. Talk to your inner child

The inner child’s main concern is safety and love. Let your child know that they are safe and loved. You could try saying statements like:

I love you.

I’m sorry you’ve been hurt.

I am here for you.

You are safe.

If this feels silly, it’s ok, keep going. Notice your reaction. How do you feel when you say these words to yourself?

2. Journaling

Have a journaling session with your inner child. You can ask your child questions like:

What do you want to tell me?

What do you need?

Allow your child to answer by using your non-dominant hand to record their answer. Do not filter! The first words that come out are usually straight from your inner child.

You can also invite your inner child to draw a picture. Again, use your non-dominant hand.

3. Re-create what you enjoyed as a child

To draw your inner child out and make her comfortable, indulge in some of your childhood favorites. A few ideas are:

• coloring
• riding a bike
• holding a stuffed animal
• make a favorite meal
• swimming
• make mud pies

4. Reparent yourself

I could probably do an entire article on re-parenting because it is just such a vast topic and is so helpful with healing. Re-parenting is giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child.

The Holistic Psychologist says “we can only give others what we have practiced giving ourselves”. It’s true. Our parents did the best that they could but really were only at a certain level of consciousness given their own conditioning. When we reparent ourselves, we give our inner child what it was desperately seeking in our childhoods: love, safety, and validation.

Deep Self Care

I have several articles you can read on self care here and here. To summarize, self care is not a random bubble bath or a massage here and there.

Self care is a planned commitment to yourself to put your needs first.

This can look like having a morning or nighttime ritual. It does not have to be long or elaborate, but it does have to be consistent. A few ideas to get you started are:

• meditating
• yoga
• journaling
• gardening
• walking
• painting
• reading
• using aromatherapy

Show up for yourself

This ties into what we were talking about with self care. The commitment. Make a promise to yourself everyday that is less than 10 minutes. Like walk 10 minutes everyday, meditate for 5 minutes everyday, drink 8 glasses of water everyday, etc.

When you show up for yourself, celebrate yourself! Notice your effort. If you miss a day, it’s no biggie, just look forward to the next day.

Showing up for yourself proves to you that you are worthy. And it shows your inner child that they can rely on you.

Honor yourself

This means that you make decisions from your most authentic state, or your higher self. If you are not feeling up to doing something, DON’T DO IT.

Even if you have that programing of ‘be helpful, be accommodating’, you tell that programming to politely shove off and then you step into your higher self and ask “Is this for my highest good?”. If it is not, you politely decline the request/decision/favor.

This is all part of showing up for yourself and reparenting your inner child.

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I hope this article gives you some ideas on how to begin inner child work and reparenting yourself. The work can be hard and painful but the end result is so rewarding. To be free of the shackles or trauma and negative programming means that you are free.

 

To help you get started, I created a FREE Inner child worksheet.

 

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Thank you for reading and being here. Please leave a comment below to share your journey with inner child work!