This all started almost a year ago when covid lock downs began. Our schedules shifted and I lost my childcare. At first, it was so nice, I had time at home with my kids, everything slowed way down and it was just peaceful. But then, months went by and I noticed that I hadn’t had self care in way too long. What ensued was not pretty.

When you are an empath, your main source of recharge is time alone and self care. I knew this about myself. I practice it and I teach it, for goodness sake!

What I noticed

As nice as the beginning of quarantine was, I began to notice old patterns and ways of being showing up. At first, it looked like irritability.  I lost my patience with my kids. Then it started to morph into my old friend anxiety.  Recently, things like resentment and overwhelm took me over.

I began to waste time (WEIRD for me). I spent a lot of time checking out. For me this looked like scrolling my phone and watching tv. I was vacant, a shell of myself. I lost desire to have connection to spirit and I even felt waves of depression.

At the beginning, I really thought, “oh this will be fine for a while, it’s such a strange, unprecedented time, I will just go with the flow and cut self care for a while”. I was strong, in a good place. I could do this for a while. Ha. Now I know better.

Why Self care is not a luxury

We all know the analogies. The one of putting on your oxygen mask first so you can help your loved ones put on theirs. Fill your well so you can share your precious waters with others. As cliche as they may be, THEY ARE TRUE.

We’ve been conditioned by society to think that if we take time to do something for ourselves we are selfish. Or if you turn down an obligation in favor of doing something you love to do that you’re a narcissist. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Would you tell your child they shouldn’t read a book they love, but instead they should go do something else for you? Would you tell your husband not to go to bed early because that’s selfish? NO, of course not! So why do we tell ourselves it’s not ok to do these things for ourselves?

If you are still doubting yourself, I invite you to breathe through the doubt and start repeating an affirmation such as: ‘I am worth it’ or ‘I love myself’. It’s time to be kind to yourself, dear one. You have spent lifetimes giving to others, it is time to give to yourself.

Just to drive home the point a little bit further: you cannot be your best self and give your best work to the ones you love and to the world unless you take care of yourself and are connected to your soul. So you are actually doing your loved ones a disservice when you don’t take care of yourself. ( I had to put this in there for those of you that are anything like me. I had such heavy programming that it was selfish to take care of myself. Learning this that I stated above, finally started to get me to unwind that programming. I hope it does for you as well).

How I implement self care into my busy life

1.commit to scheduling it

I like to commit to doing at least 30 minutes of self care per day. If this feels like a lot to you, start with 10 minutes and work yourself up. I also commit to doing self care at a certain time of day. For me, night time is the easiest time for me to do this. Make this appointment for yourself and honor it as if it were a doctor appointment that you’d have to pay for if you missed…

2. time management

Observe where you are wasting time and ask yourself ‘what can I do with this time to connect to my soul. For instance, if I notice that I’m checking out, I stop and ask myself, is there something else I can do with myself right now that will benefit me more? Often times this is putting my phone down and walking out to my garden and sitting in the sunshine. Sometimes it’s a walk around the block.

A note about checking out: it is totally ok to check out sometimes! Life is so full that sometimes it’s all we can bear to just check out. *But* if you are noticing that you are only checking out in your free time, this is a clue that you may be ready to dive into self care.

3. Pay attention to how you are feeling

Before you embark on your self care journey, write down how you are feeling. Do you feel anxiety, irritability, depression, stress? What are your symptoms? List them all. As you continue with your self care, keep writing how you are feeling. Keeping a journal can be a valuable tool during this journey. Go back and read your previous entries. Observe how your life has improved since your self care began and let it serve as a reminder of how integral it is for you.

 

I hope that my story resonated with you and that maybe if you see a bit of yourself in me, that you may be inspired to take care of yourself, too.

 

Exciting news! I have a brand new Self Care Course that will be happening starting April 13! If you are struggling with self care or ready to learn how to deeply nourish yourself so that you can live your life intuitively, this course is for you. Click here to read more about the course.

 

To read more in depth on how to take care of yourself, read here.

For more guidance on how to schedule your self care, read here.

If you would like to receive a free self care worksheet and become part of my mailing list to receive more guidance like this, click here.