In this article, you will read about simple self care tips for the highly sensitive mom. Being a mom is hard on it’s own, but when you add in the extra layer of being highly sensitive, it can be doubly hard and downright overwhelming. My goal in this article is to give you some tools to help ease your frayed nerves so that you can get back to doing your amazing work with your children, hopefully with less stress and more of a full cup.
Highly sensitive people are easily overwhelmed by sounds, lights, physical touch and smells. Our senses are heightened which is great because it means our intuition is also super accurate and we can connect with spirit easily. But when you’re a mom, let’s face it, the only time when there aren’t sounds, lights and smells are when our kids are asleep…
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5 self care tips for the highly
sensitive mom
Most days I feel like I experience life in high definition and surround sound. For me to keep my patience and my sanity, I have had to find ways to sooth my frazzled nerves and keep my senses in check.
If you’re highly sensitive, there’s a good chance you might also be empathic, which you can read more about here. The more we can learn about ourselves and how we process the world, the more we can find coping mechanisms to make life just a little easier.
Here are some of the tools I use daily to help me keep my inner stillness that I so dearly need.
1. Routine, Routine Routine
Kids (and adults) respond best if they know what to expect. I’ve found that having a solid morning, mid-day and night time routine help to keep all of us a little more calm amidst the chaos.
morning routine
I tend to try to throw food at my kids within 2 minutes of them waking up. Seriously, everything is just better in the morning when the little ones have food in their bellies and mama has a cup of coffee in her hands.
afternoon routine
We ALL do quiet time at my house. I am raising two girls that are also highly sensitive and empathic (Lord help me). So we all really benefit by our afternoon quiet time. I’ve had this routine with them since my oldest was about 18 months.
Quiet time has changed form quite a bit as they change and grow, they are now 3 and 5. If your kids nap, yay for you! Depending on how old your kids are and what they are used to, you may have to start small and work up. Consistency is important here. My kids now will give me about an hour on a good day. On bad days, a movie is put on. But usually they are good with some books and quiet actives.
Now for mama, what you do during quiet time is essential. THIS IS NOT CHORE TIME, as tempting as it is. I know because I wasted my precious quiet times for the first 2 years…. sigh. This is just as much your quiet time as it is theirs. Take your rest, do something you love, do your self care.
Nighttime routine
A nighttime routine is something that I think a lot of parents intuitively already do. For ours, it’s a simple pick up, bath, stories, and then bed. This rarely changes for the sake of simplicity. I try to include a pick up in this routine because when the house is less scary, so is my mood. Clutter tends to wear on my nerves so I *try* to stay on top of this.
Of course this all depends on what kind of day we have planned because we have school days and home days (we do a homeschool hybrid program) and each day looks a little different with my work schedule. You can tailor your routines to your days and the ages of kids, all the while just staying conscious of keeping as much routine as possible.
2. Peaceful Environment
Because I am so easily stimulated by my surroundings, I do my best to try to control my home environment the best I can. This means soft lighting, relaxing aromatherapy, and minimal sound. I know, I know, kids are like the opposite of quiet and you can’t control that. But you can control the environmental sounds.
For instance, I either opt for very soft earthy music in the background or nothing at all. Of course we have our daily silly dance party where we blare the soundtrack of Mama Mia or Frozen. But that’s a short period of time.
If I find myself getting overwhelmed by all the noise, I tell my kids mama needs a timeout and they understand (they don’t want mama to lose her cool) what that means and they give me space. I go into my room for 10 minutes and close my eyes, turn off all the lights, turn on my diffuser and deeply breath. This is usually enough for a reset.
3. Find your self care where you can
Being a HSP and an empath, self care and alone time are imperative. Without it, I get anxious and no one in the house is happy. So I have learned to prioritize this. As a mom of two little kids that homeschools and works, this is no easy feat but I do my best.
I have learned that my self care can’t and won’t be perfect, and for the most part, I’m ok with that. Yes there are times where I have glorious self care days but most of the time, I have to take my self care where I can get it.
For instance, I make sure I get self care in little increments, morning, noon and night. I have a little morning self care routine that involves reading inspirational material or journaling. Middle of the day (Quiet time!) I usually pull a card and write articles for my blog- yes I know that sounds like work but for me it’s therapeutic. And in the evening, I have a more luxurious self care routine. My evening self care is what I look forward to every single day and here is where I really get re-charged.
Your self care does not have to be long and complicated. Pick 2-3 times per day where you can do something that re-charges you for 15-30 minutes. Your sensitive soul will thank you for it.
4. Simplicity
Keeping things simple has been a hard lesson for me to learn. I’m by nature not simple. I have a rich inner life that keeps me occupied and I’m interested in so many different things. Not to mention I have a pretty deep ‘not good enough’ wound that I’m working through. But because of the demands on my time and attention, I’m learning it’s just better if I try to do less.
The most important area of parenting where I try to do less is dinner. This time of day used to stress me out SO much. I love cooking so I was always trying to make yummy recipes. Buuuuuut you know how that goes as a mom. It would either take me way too much time or my kids just wouldn’t eat it.
So now my favorite thing to do for dinner is either use my instant pot or do sheet pan dinners. We are also huge fans of making our own pizza (fun and easy) or doing what we call toddler plates. Basically sliced deli meats, cut up cucumbers or carrots with hummus, some grapes and we call it dinner!
I also try to keep it simple by letting my kids pick just one extra curricular activity per semester. Right now they are both doing ballet. This helps keep my stress level under control and I’ve noticed my kids are more relaxed this way, too. There’s something really special about letting kids just roam around the backyard making mud pies and playing barbies for hours on end, ya know what I mean?
5. Glorious evening self care routine
I think this time of day is what most parents look forward to. A chance to relax, unwind, and connect with our partner. I like to have some intentionality about my nighttime self care. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of evenings where I sit on the couch with my glass of wine and watch Netflix. But on the other evenings, I use it as a time to deeply take care of myself so that I can wake up the next day and be ready and excited to take care of my family.
For my evening routine, I take a glorious hot shower, usually scented with eucalyptus and meditation music in the background. I keep my lighting soft, often with just my himalayan salt lamp and a candle lit. This starts my turning inward to find stillness and re-strengthens my connection to spirit. I let the day wash away.
Then I spread out my oracle cards, journal, and any spiritual study materials I’m working with. I bring my candle by my bed, grab whatever crystal is calling to me and snuggle in. I usually start with journaling if I haven’t done it already yet that day, because it helps me process my thoughts and feelings so I can be clearer. Then I pull some cards. I sometimes meditate, sometimes not. Then I do some reading or studying.
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So there you have it! 5 very simple self care tips for the highly sensitive mom. As a highly sensitive mom, you know that your nervous system is constantly being tugged at, so having this intentional time that you can soothe your nerves and come back to your center is an amazing tool to have.This re-centering is so invaluable as a parent. When we can better take care of ourselves, we can better take care of our children.
Thank you for reading and for being here. For more Self Care tips and spirituality, I’d love for you to join my newsletter.
Exciting news! I have a brand new Self Care Course that will be happening starting April 13! If you are struggling with self care or ready to learn how to deeply nourish yourself so that you can live your life intuitively, this course is for you. Click here to read more about the course.
